Brick
by xCyaniide
Summary: Tonks is pregnant with Remus' child but he wont even talk to her so she has an abortion. Based on Brick by Ben Folds .
1. Chapter 1

It was early in the morning the day after Christmas Day and Tonks was sitting alone in her flat, thinking about whether she should leave or not. She knew it could well have been better for everyone if she just left, moved on, forgot about everyone. Especially if she never had to make Remus upset again. She loved him with all her heart, yet he just didn't seem to care.

They had slept together one night and now she was pregnant, yet she hadn't had the heart to tell him. She had booked an abortion for that morning in a muggle hospital. Nobody knew that she was pregnant. She hadn't told anyone. She had wanted to tell Molly and her mum but she knew they would have talked her out of it. She didn't want Remus to be stuck with her just because she had his kid, though.

She sighed, glancing at the clock. It was 6o'clock in the morning, leaving her just enough time to reach the hospital before her appointment at 7.30am. She sighed a little, pulling herself up from her position curled up on the couch and grabbed her coat, pulling it over her shoulders and heading out into the snow covered street beyond her house.

It took her half an hour to reach the hospital and she booked herself in, heading to her room. She glanced out of the window and the nurse left the room briefly. "I'm sorry," Tonks muttered, knowing that what she was doing was wrong. "It's best this way, though," she added as she looked down at her stomach. She heard the door open again then and turned around to see a nurse and a doctor standing there.

"Are you sure you want to go ahead with this?" the doctor asked, seeing the sadness in her eyes.

She nodded in response to his question, "It can't happen any other way," she replied.

The doctor and nurse exchanged glances before nodding themselves as well, "Come this way, then," the nurse said and Tonks followed the two of them down the corridor into a dark room that was clearly the operating theatre. "Lay down on the bed," the nurse said, and Tonks did as she was asked, her heart aching because of what she was doing but she knew there was no other option. If there had been, she would have taken it. But there wasn't.

She felt a needle being injected into her and she turned her head slightly to see the doctor then moving away with the needle in his hand, "It'll all be over soon," he said and then everything went blank.


	2. Chapter 2

When she awoke, she felt some pain in her stomach but guessed it was only to be expected. She wasn't entirely sure what they had done, just that the baby was no longer there. She felt empty, not so much physically, but mentally and emotionally. She felt as if she had just killed an innocent being, which she supposed she had done really.

She heard the door click open and she glanced over to it, seeing the same nurse as she had seen before the operation. She smiled a little at her and the nurse smiled back, "How are you feeling?" the nurse asked her.

"Empty, if I'm honest," she replied, slowly sitting up and wincing slightly at the pain. "Did it go okay?" she asked, wanting to make sure the baby was entirely gone as she didn't want to have any repercussions later on because of this. It was bad enough that she had been forced to do this by Remus completely refusing to speak to her and she really didn't want to have to think any more about it.

The nurse nodded and smiled sympathetically, "I know it's something I could never do," she said, "I suppose in some cases, there's just no other way to deal with it though," she added, not wanting to make Tonks feel any worse. She then handed Tonks a prescription that had the medication for her to take inside it, "Take two of these tablets twice a day just to keep the cut clean and uninfected," she said. "It went fine," she replied in answer to her next question but not wanting to go into too much detail.

"Okay, thanks," Tonks said as she looked at the prescription, "Can I go home now?" she asked, wanting nothing more than to go home and get out of it all.

The nurse nodded, "Yes, we just need you to sign some paperwork and then you're free to go." She turned to face the cabinets, picking up a clipboard and pen and handing them to Tonks who quickly read the notes attacked and then signed. "Okay, off you go then. If you have any problems, please don't hesitate to return," she added, opening the door for Tonks and handing her the coat and bag she had taken with her.

"Thanks," Tonks said and left quickly, not wanting to stay there any longer than she had to.


	3. Chapter 3

Once she had arrived at home, Tonks just collapsed onto the sofa in tears. She hated what she had just done. She hated herself for doing it. She hated the whole idea of abortion. Yet she knew at the same time that it had been the right thing to do.

She sat on the sofa crying for about two hours before she eventually managed to control the flow of tears enough to realise that she should at least take some of the tablets the nurse had given her. She headed into the kitchen where she had dumped her things and took a couple of the tablets out, pouring herself a drink of water and taking them as the instructions told her to. She then put them away in the medicine cabinet and sighed, her hand still on the door handle as she put her head against the door. "It's not me you had to die for," she said quietly a fresh tear rolling down her cheek, "I'm sorry."

She heard some children playing outside in the snow then and she sighed, moving herself over to the window to look at them running around and having snowball fights. She felt a pang of loneliness in her heart, knowing that in a few years time that could have been her child. Now, she didn't even know if she could get pregnant again.

She wiped the tears out of her eyes again, tearing her eyes away from the window to have a look in the fridge for something to eat. She was far from hungry but she knew she had to eat or she could end up feeling even more ill than she did anyway because of what she had done. She decided after a couple of minutes of looking blankly at the fridge that she would have a sandwich but once she had made it she couldn't bring herself to eat it. She just felt more ill.

By that time, it had reached 6pm that evening and she was feeling rather tired. She returned to the living room and turned the television her parents had given her a few years ago on and flicked through the channels trying to find something to watch to distract herself. It wasn't long before she fell asleep watching the television, though, and she lay there in the cold sleeping until morning because there was nobody else there to move her or give her a blanket.


	4. Chapter 4

She awoke the following morning feeling rather stiff and cold. She glanced down her body and found that she hadn't even bothered to put a blanket over herself the previous evening. She slowly sat up, feeling a slight pain in her stomach again, and glanced at the clock. It was already 11am and she was rather surprised that she had slept for that long. She guessed that maybe there had still been some anaesthetic in her blood and the water had washed it down, making her sleepy or something.

She got up and padded through to the kitchen, pouring herself another glass of water and then taking her tablets once more. She then realised she was still wearing the same clothing she had been wearing when she had gone to the hospital and she sighed, heading through to her bedroom instead to get changed into something a little less thought provoking. She doubted she would ever wear those clothes again because they would only remind her of that day.

She was then going to try and get herself something to eat as she hadn't eaten since the operation when there was a knock at the door. She frowned, having expected to be left alone for several more days before anyone would notice she was gone.

She headed back the way she had come towards the kitchen again and opened the door, finding the person she had least expected to see standing there in front of her. Severus Snape. "What are you doing here?" she asked, sounding rather grumpier than she had ever sounded previously when around the man in front of her.

He frowned at the way she spoke, knowing instantly that something was wrong, especially when she avoided eye contact with him as it made it seem even more as though she was hiding something, "May I come in?" he asked, deciding not to speak to her on the doorstep as he was going to when he first arrived. She moved backwards, letting him inside and closing the door behind him, "What's wrong?" he asked as soon as the door was closed.

"Nothing," she replied, still avoiding eye contact at all costs. "I'm fine," she added, glancing up at him and hoping he wouldn't notice she had been crying. He was far too clever to have not noticed, though.

"What's wrong?" he repeated, "I'm not an idiot, Tonks. I know you're not okay. Tell me." It wasn't a request, it was a demand.

She shook her head adamantly, though. She simply replied, "You wouldn't understand. Why are you here?" she asked again, unwilling to talk about it so desperately trying to change the subject.

"Nobody's seen Remus since Christmas Day and we wondered if you'd seen him," Severus replied as he watched her every move for some sort of clue as to what was wrong.

"Haven't seen him," she replied, her mind now whirring even faster than it had been previously. She hoped he was alright, though, "Wasn't a full moon by any chance?" she asked as she hadn't kept up with the moons recently.

"No," Severus replied simply. "It's not for a few days," he added, looking a little more concerned now. Tonks always knew when the full moons were and she certainly wasn't herself. He wasn't going to mention it any more, though, because she obviously had a lot on her mind. "If you decide you do want to talk, send me an owl, okay?" he said, looking at her and waiting for a reply.

Tonks was rather surprised that he had even made that offer but she nodded, "Okay," she said. "If I hear from Remus I'll let you know as well," she added and opened the door for him again. He was soon gone into the snow outside and she closed the door, turning and leaning on it, then slowly sliding to the floor and putting her head on her knees and beginning to cry again. Why did it always happen like this? Never one bad thing, always several at a time.


End file.
